https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=b8Kg119Bm_YTime passes and I life goes on only it never ends there is always more to add so what’s been happening in the last 3 years you may ask?
Jake moved back home after his break up, finished his final stages of surgery and then started working which involved a move towards London.
Whilst his life continued I knew he wasn’t completely happy so made every effort to keep in contact with regular drives down. Ten months later he was considering another move as his landlord was increasing his rent which was eating up half of his salary, after a weekend flat hunting and him spiraling into a melt down I suggested he moved back home.
So the next chapter began. His work meant he could spend long periods at home which made him very isolated or weeks away in a hotel. I continued to support and nurture him as I felt he had missed out on this during his ‘wilderness ‘ years.
His mental health concerned me but thankfully he sort help and began antidepressants along with a referral for a diagnosis.
As the weeks passed I could see his mood lifting, he finally passed his driving test and then made the decision to return to university to study for his masters. But the usual Jake then began to put in the what if and what about questions, let’s be honest we can all talk ourselves out of doing something we don’t know the outcome for, taking that step into the unknown makes us vulnerable but without this how can we fulfill our dreams? I asked him to trust in his choice as he admitted if he continued in his work it would wear him down and destroy him. I know I’m one of life’s optimists but I asked him to trust in the universe as once you put a plan in action magically things begin to happen, his one concern was money and although he had saved to pay his fees it was still going to be tight on his finances. I reassured him he would have a home and food and life is to be enjoyed so to follow his dreams.
So he did…
August 2019 he is currently in Japan. Yes he followed his dream to study Japanese and has finished his first year of his masters and August has been spent attending university in Kyoto. My heart literally explodes with pride when I think of what he has achieved. I think back to the 8 year old Jess that told me one day she was going to live and work in Japan, Jess the teenager who refused to use a knife and fork opting for chopsticks and blaring out Japanese music from her bedroom. The Jess who loved anime, cosplay and anything Japanese became the Jake who still had a passion for Japan, that still held that dream deep with in his heart, that all he had been through he was brave and strong enough to take that step into the unknown.
As I had reassured him the universe stepped up and money arrived, he found a part time job which he hated but it once again showed him where he didn’t want to be in life, his dad paid for his flight to Japan, the money pot he had been saving his Christmas & birthday money and one I kept topping up paid for his hotel and living costs, he then had a tax return and landed 3 weeks full time work office based, which thank the universe appeared 2 days after he left the hated job!
So he’s been there 2 weeks and has another 3 to go, he seems to be enjoying it and has found the language easier being within the culture.
I’m astounded that 10 months since beginning his masters he is now fluent in Japanese and continues to seek out his dreams.
I know I will always worry about him but I guess that comes with the territory of being a mother, why would you ever not care?
It’s been 7 years since my journey began, 7 years that have made me the person I am today, I’ve been battered along the way and at times wondered how I coped but I did, I always will. I am a strong woman who will never allow problems to overcome me, I trust that the universe has plans and if you take time to actually listen there are always plenty of signs for you.
You just need to be vulnerable to progress.