A million years ago…

When you are presented in life with situations that are completely foreign you can either sink or swim, three years ago, myself not particularly a good swimmer but compared to the majority of woman my age, a strong runner, I chose to hold on tight and bloody well run.
I didn’t know what was ahead of me, how I or my family and most of all my child would cope, all I knew was I couldn’t give in no matter what. To stride forward in life and use what ever I had to solve to problems we would all face. It’s been tough I won’t deny it, there were times I felt I didn’t know what to do, times I sat alone sobbing, wondering why this had happened, laughed at myself to think I had it all sorted, as so far in my life it had been rosy, even during the turmoil of a divorce, that hadn’t phased me as much as what I had at the time with Jake. I am an optimist and I guess I will always be the kind of person to take what I have and make the best of it but has it changed me?
I think it has, it’s made me more appreciative of what I do have, my family that have stood alongside Jake, the friends that I had around me but have found a new stronger friendship evolving and some lovely new friendships.
I’ve never judged somebody on what they have or who they are but this has made me more emphatic towards others, to try and offer help and advice where at times I may have stepped away.
Somethings I wish for the carefree life I had, without the swirling angst but then I think of Jake and realise what I yearn for didn’t include a happy Jess, the carefree days of a young Jess were wonderful and I will always treasure those but those teenage years I wouldn’t wish upon anyone but I have to take from that experience and use it to help others, one day it could be a friend that finds themselves in the situation I was or maybe someone I haven’t met yet but what I know is I’m prepared and I will take their hands hold on tight and let them walk with me until eventually they too can run free with hope and happiness in their hearts.


Inspiring blog award


Happy new year to you all, hopefully I will try and catch up blogging but before that I was amazed to find I’ve been nominated twice for a very inspiring bloggers award!
– steps forward, awaits for the applause to subside, clears throat-
Thank you

to http://teawithess.com/2015/01/03/award-time/
For my nominations. It’s lovely to think that my pondering has inspired others, I initially started blogging to help myself understand what I was dealing with, I’m so glad I did as when I read back over some of the earlier posts the emotions I felt at the time all return, they can still really hurt but the difference is now I’m in a different position mentally, I’m dealing with jakes transition, I’m grateful that at last he is happy and I am mostly grateful for the fact he still Is here and he had the courage to speak to me. I know not all have this, that does sadden me, but maybe my blog can show other parents who are struggling that it does get better, you can smile again. 


The rules of the award are;

1 thank the person who nominated you, display the award on your post.
2 list the award rules
3 state 7 random things about yourself
4 nominate other bloggers
5 contact your nominees to let them know you have nominated
6 proudly display the award logo on your blog either on a side bar, about page or a special award page

So 7 random things about me
1 I spent the first 11 years of my life living on a farm
2 I love animals and currently have 2 cats 1 dog and 2 budgies ( Yep I still have them)
3 At the age of 13 I was knocked over by a car travelling in excess of 30mph, on a zebra crossing whilst wearing roller skates- obviously I survived!
4 I love to read, many thrillers or crimes but I will give anything a go
5 I’ve run 5 marathons , 1 20 mile race and 6 half marathons, a couple of 10 mile races 1, 10k and a hand full of 5k. I’ve ran since I was 18 it’s part of me
6 I love reality TV, big brother is my favourite but you,name it I probably have watched it
7 From a very young age I wanted to join the police force but sadly back in the day there was a minimum height and being 5 ft I failed!


I would like to nominate the following bloggers, I’m always pleased when I see another update from theses particular people.

http://transdoctor.wordpress.com/about/ I often wish I could give this blogger a hug and say it will be ok
http://secretlyfabulous.wordpress.com/about/ always up beat and has inspired me in many ways

https://callmekeira.wordpress.com I feel she is still a lost soul and hopeful she is finding her feet

https://butchcountry67.wordpress.com/about/ dedication to his wife and I really love his life style and values

https://callhimhunter.wordpress.com/about-me/ another parent who is supporting their transgender son

http://katcarpita.wordpress.com/2015/01/02/friday-fuzz-2/ always an inspiration to me and some lovely pictures

http://recoveringwomancaughtinadultery.wordpress.com/about/ lily what can I say but I just adore your style of writing, I await your update, relish every word and then have to remind myself this is your life not a fictional novel.