Silence

So I wondered if I would get a response from the letter, to be honest I wasn’t expecting one but I rather hoped Jake had heard from him. A week past and I heard nothing so after speaking with Jake about the Christmas present situation, thankfully he decided to be the better person and buy gifts for his dad and siblings, I took the presents around, first visit nobody at home so I sent a text to his wife, Natalie I have spoken to her before when trying to reunite the pair and asked when she would be in so I could pop in.
On arrival I was greeted with a smile and welcomed in, she thanked me for the presents and I told her Jake was stopping in London for Xmas this year. Then I just asked if Simon had rung Jake, she didn’t think so and said he had tried but had stopped trying because he had no response? Hmm that got my back up a little as from not trying to communicate doesn’t this mean in jakes world his father has abandoned him? If it was me I would continually ring or send a text, just to show I cared and would hope eventually he would respond. I explained how Jake felt and all he wanted was his dad to be proud of him, she said ‘ he is‘ I guess Jake needs to actually hear this. As I spoke of how far Jake had come in the last year, etc etc Natalie looked at me and said ‘ you seem to have coped well with his transition ‘ well I nearly choked on my words ‘ it’s been difficult but what else can you do? ‘ I replied, she will never know how it’s been and hopefully she never will, I wouldn’t want any one else to witness the angst I have had to with my own child.
She said she would speak to Simon, as he hadn’t mentioned any email I had said and I agreed to speak to Jake.

I asked Jake this weekend if his dad had rang him, he immediately became defensive, ‘ no, he doesn’t care’ was his response. I chose my words carefully but told him I had spoken to Natalie and repeated what she had told me, I then just asked him to respond if his dad rang, to give him that chance again. I do hope he does, he desperately wants his dad in his life I can blatantly see it and is the only reason I’ve tried to get them together again.

The letter

I hope you take this letter with the context it is written in, it’s only to try and reunite yourself and Jake.
I’m not sure to what extent you have fallen out but I do know whatever he has said to you that he misses you, he needs your support and love, it’s all he craves.
The last 2 years have been difficult for all of us while supporting Jake and his transition, but we’ve got through it, I’m not saying it’s been an easy journey, it’s been one full of angst, heartache, fear, loss, in fact any emotion you can think of we’ve lived it. The only way we have all remained sane is to research, talk and try to understand. I’m assuming you are finding this still a difficult journey, forgive me if I’m wrong, but it’s only one you will begin to understand if you approach it head on.

At the moment Jake feels you have abandoned him, plain and simple, he would welcome you without doubt if you could reach out and try to understand. I hope you can take some time to get to know your eldest son as there is no denying that is what he is, you will discover a very articulate, happy and confident young man. He has excelled at all his as done despite living with this inner angst, he is some one to be very proud of.

In September he moved to London to a lovely apartment with Matthew, he is excelling at work and has even been offered another job within ****** if his degree program can move him. He has become more thoughtful and comfortable with in him self.
I know all he wants from you is some proof that you’re proud of him and are his dad, he’s not after financial support but emotional support.
I hope you can reach out to him and just take the time to be in his life again. It doesn’t take much, the odd text, phone call or even a visit to London to see him.
It saddens me to see how this still affects him and I’m sure you too, that is why I’m hoping you can begin to build bridges. As parents we will always have to do the donkey work where kids are concerned.

I’m hoping this helps and he doesnrt read it that I’m preaching to him, I guess I will await his response, if any.