As its Mother’s Day here in the UK I thought it was apt to post a blog inspired by a comment from my mum.
In life we are all on a journey, interlinking roads that many of us travel, some of us take a detour and discover smaller winding roads, that others would never venture down- waves to running friends- those that have explored this particular road will understand the joy and strength that can be gathered from the challenges we put ourselves through.
There’s always been a road that I guess I never noticed, one to be honest I thought I would never need to travel, it was down a tiny little track, surrounded by trees, blink as you were passing and you would have missed it, 2 1/2 years ago I tentatively found my self walking down this track, the darkness from the overlapping trees scared me, I wasn’t sure where it would lead me to, my heart felt heavy and sad, I didn’t want to be on this unknown path but I knew I had to as my then daughter Jess had ran on ahead without me, ignoring the fears, she had ran as fast as she could, she had no other choice, it was a path she couldn’t ignore, in her world it was a motorway the quickest route leading to the place she needed to be.
It has been a long and winding road I’ve travelled, the fear begin to subsided as I took time to look around me, gather my thoughts, breath the air and just appreciate what life had to offer. Jess was still ahead of me, occasionally I would see her look back, I was always with in sight even if I had yet to catch up with her, I would wave to reassure her I was still there. The road began to open up, the sun broke through the storm clouds, I began to feel the warmth and love I was surrounded by and I found myself amongst friends and family that had too discovered they were destined for this Journey.
There were times I felt I was stumbling, the rain and wind lashed at me, these times I felt isolated, everybody who had been around me were no longer visible, they too were dealing with their issues, it was these times I wrapped my coat around me, dug deep to unearth some strength and ran against that cold wind to gain some momentum to catch Jess.
Then one day the path opened into a beautiful meadow, the sun shone, the birds were singing and the flowers surrounded me, as I blinked and starred at the beauty around me I noticed I wasn’t alone I had finally caught up with Jess, but she didn’t look like Jess any more, the same eyes starred at me but there stood Jake, smiling, happy and looking comfortable in his body.
That’s were I am now, I’m comfortable, it’s a tough journey as a parent but one we are all capable of taking when our child reveals they are transgender.
Jake made a brief overnight visit home a couple of weeks ago as he had finished uni a day earlier than expected, to save him a return visit the following weekend I suggested he had one of his injections then, the only problem was I only had time to drop him to the hospital and then to his Nan’s and she would take him home, he agreed and later on that day I received a text from my mum:
So all roads lead to home but sometimes it takes as all a while to catch up with one another, it’s a good thing to remember when sometimes as a parent you think you are being shut out of your transgender child’s life, stay patient, support and eventually you find one another again , sometimes our children need to have a little patience with us.