Christmas came and for once I was totally prepared, nothing like the Christmas 2 years ago where I felt my world had stopped, everyone was continuing their preparations and I felt I was standing still in the middle of it, totally shocked about why I was having to deal with, but having to carry on with a smile on my face.
I had a lovely Christmas but it did seem a little strange that Jake didn’t come home, but I accepted it, it’s what kids do they leave home and start to live their own life, maybe next year he will come home. I cooked dinner for my parents my brother and his three boys it was lovely to see them all.
We visited Jake and Matthew on the Saturday after xmas, I had made up a food hamper for them with treats I knew they would enjoy, my husband joked we were taking down a Red Cross food parcel!
We went out for lunch and even did a tourist thing and road the cable cars over to the O2 to eat at wagamamas
Overall it was a lovely day, I took a photo of Jake and Matthew on the cable cars which is a reminder for me as Jake is smiling, not just a smile a proper happy faced smile. I asked if he had heard from his dad, he said his dad had text him and sent him some money for xmas, I hope this is the first steps to rebuilding their relationship, I also hope Jake puts some effort in too I know he feels abandoned but if he wants a relationship he too must put some work in.
Jake returned home for a day visit this week as he had an appointment with Mr T at the gender clinic. We had a chat about what he’s been up to and it made me smile when he was discussing buying a house. You see his ultimate dream is to buy a house, out of the city, a normal kind of life, one that makes me realise he is feeling happy within himself, he’s planning for the future!
So from where I was 2 years ago which to be honest seems another life time ago I’m now happy and have less angst, of course being a mother I will always worry but hopefully life will become normal, what ever that is!