I’ve been on a journey the last 2 years, one I never thought I would be taking, but one that has enriched my soul I guess.
I’ve also read many others blogs taking a similar journey, parents and other transgender people and I’m shocked by the amount of intolerance some have had to accept. I wonder if my acceptance is nature or nurture? That old question. What truly shocks me is the amount of religion that is tangled up with people’s misunderstanding. Now I’m not judging anyone on what they believe, each to our own, personally I feel I have no belief in an ultimate God. Sometimes I have been envious of those that have such faith, is it a comfort? I feel I can’t have faith in something that has no proof to me, there have been times in my life when I have needed help, desperately low and did God reach out to me then? No, so the opportunities he could have didn’t occur and this leads me to conclude either I’m unworthy or of course there isn’t one! Ultimately I have faith in myself, my strength to cope and help others. When I read others that have family not accepting them and inciting religious quotes it makes me angry. Surely a God is one that lives and accepts all? How can people claim to be so Christian when they can so easily turn their backs on their loved ones?
I think I’ve always be an accepting person but as the years have passed I have understood many issues by researching, thinking and re evaluating my opinions, that’s how we grow as a human isn’t it?
So where is this going you may think?
I have 2 distinct memories where by nurture has had an affect on how I’ve developed and both are with my mum.
Firstly- I was watching the summer Olympic Games I’m guessing the year is 1976 so I’m 9, my mum is ironing, I cheering at the screen, ah it seems I loved running before I discovered it! I remember shouting ‘oh look the N***** won’ it wasn’t a word I had used before but I guess I had heard it in the playground, my mum turned to me and sternly said ‘ don’t ever use that word again’ obviously I knew I had said something wrong and have never repeated it, but I wonder without this nurturing would I be the person I am today?
Secondly- Most kids have a special teddy, raggy cloth or blanket that they cling on to no matter what, that special thing they hold dear, comforts them to sleep, in fact I still have mine now, a doll I was given back in 1972, a doll that when given I didn’t like because it was different, it wasn’t the normal for that time, I remember flinging her on the floor and saying I didn’t want her, my mum lovingly picked her up and began to bath her and called me to see her tears ( ok it was just soap suds) that were streaming down her face, my mum told me she was crying because I didn’t want her, my 5 year old innocence saw through what was different about her and immediately grabbed her and wrapped her in a towel and she never left my side after that, I insisted she had birthday and Christmas presents, she accompanied me to school met me out of it, she was my special childhood toy, I would twiddle her arm or leg to go to sleep and she still has shiny bits from this! I guess that’s the first memory I have of being taught as humans we are all the same no matter what colour, religion, etc we are and I’m grateful my parents have that view as it has prepared me for my life now.
Anyway what I have come to realise is that adults still have their special comfort blanket, at one point it was the handbag, yes truly, you look around and see girls clinging to their most wanted possession, some have a radley bag or purse, seriously wtf is that about? It has a little dog motif on it and for the privilege you pay over the odds, or am I missing something? Does this little motif protect your goods, does it snarl and bite at anyone trying to steal it? Or how about a mulberry bag? Something so expensive you are afraid to use the bloody thing, hugging it to your body, not letting out of your sight, proudly showing it off to your friends like a newborn baby! I seriously don’t understand it!
Now boys are a little different, once the teddy is outgrown and discarded in a corner, they like to feel part of a group, wearing their beloved football shirts so they can easily recognise a kindred spirit, or sporting the new Nike air trainers.
Now there is a new kid on the block, it’s a universal comforter, one it seems every adult owns, many desire the latest offering with it’s all singing all dancing controls. What is this you may ask? Take a look in your hand are you clinging to your comforter now? Yes it’s the mobile phone. You only have to look around to witness this adult comforter epidemic. Girls have replaced the handbag with the smart phone, some have cases encrusted with jewels, pinging notifications from copious media applications- tweeting what they are wearing, Instagraming their lunch, face booking their check in points throughout the day, it’s never ending. Boys are equally as guilty, sharing football gossip, drinking exploits on snap chat, what’s apping fellow friends.
For some reason people are now afraid to be out of contact with people, couples sit together having a meal whilst simultaneously communicating via social media, quite possibly to one another!
And it seems amongst this social media frenzy many people have forgotten the art of communication, soon we won’t even share a coffee with friends but instead choose to snap chat a picture of it whist tweeting our day.
So for today lets all try and ditch a little of the social media and spend some time with some one we actually care about, just like the time when we were 5 and had that special friend 😃 it may feel good!