At last I feel I’m returning
3 weeks on a higher dose of levothroxine and it’s beginning to take effect, I’m feeling happier, less tired, I’ve started back running and the excess pounds are disappearing, it was only 7 but 7 I didn’t want!
My decision to cut down to working 4 days a week is also making me feel happier, I think I had forgotten what life really was all about if you’re not working, but maybe it helped me at the time.
Monday had me catching up with an old friend, we worked together in our 20’s and been in and out of each other’s lives since then, the kind of friendship that is always comfortable even if we haven’t spoken fir a few years. She knew I had something to tell her and as I drove over I was fairly confident how I would approach it, well my plan went out the window as soon as she asked, as I explained, fighting back the tears, I had a moment of panic as I watched her reaction, it was if she wasn’t hearing for that split second, then she sat down and said how sorry she was but at least jake was happy, as simple as that, I didn’t really doubt her support but it could be a test in a friendship, she then rang her mum to pop around who I haven’t seen for at least 10 years, she asked if I wanted her to know, of course I responded. When she arrived a quick catch up and of course she asked about Jess, I began to explain but became too emotional so my friend explained, once again I saw the shock and disbelief in her eyes, trying to comprehend what was being said, I really did think she wouldn’t understand, and them the nicest thing happened, she turned to me, took my hand, said how sorry she was but reassured me it was obviously better for Jess. I felt utter relief to have such lovely support and reactions, I guess I always doubt people will understand.
On the opposite side of understanding a ‘friend’ on FB spouted some awful words about the recent coming out of frank Malone the boxing promoter, it really made me livid suggesting transgender was a choice, was just a phase blah blah, I really don’t wish to repeat his language, which really not only shows his ignorance but also stupidity, as the following day it was all about the death of robin Williams, so of course he was supporting depression etc, I commented on how his status was laughable due to what he had previously written, I basically said how it wasn’t a choice, suicide was higher in this minority group, and as humans we should show empathy and understanding, as we had moved a long way in the last century and only through education could we begin to understand, he didn’t understand what I had written and spouted more vile comments, I refrained from answering, I can only hope some one else reading his status may understand and then at least I would have changed someone’s opinion. Of course I could have just ignored it but I figured someone has to speak out to change the world! The laughable fact about this guys girlfriends sister is actually MTF transgender do that was why I really couldn’t understand his rant.
Feeling so much more positive I also told another friend who no longer lives in the area, she answered in a positive way, I guess it may take time to digest. It’s harder to judge over the internet on their reaction.
So how is jake?
Jake is going from strength to strength, he has his top surgery booked in less than a month and begins work in 2 months, his confidence has grown so much. We did have a conversation recently, when he was worrying about money over the first few months of leaving home, I reassured him we were here to help, that families supported one another and even though he is so like me in being independent, he really needed to share his worries, he smiled and seemed happier. I guess sometimes we all forget to tell our families how important they are to us.